


Saving You

by Wronglover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 13:44:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wronglover/pseuds/Wronglover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak moved to a town where no one knows him and no one wants to know him. But he's okay with that. He goes through life unnoticed until one boy does notice him. Dean Winchester is determined to show Castiel that life can be different, before it's to late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The rain was coming down hard, soaking Castiel to the bone. He didn't mind though. He actually felt ike he deserved it.

He began shivering as the rain came down harder, making it almost impossible to see. So when a voice shoued at him, Castiel almost fell over.

"Hey, do you need a ride?"

He looked up, startled, at a pair of bright green eyes. He was surprised anyone could see him through the rain, let alone want him in their car.

Castiel shook his head, but this stranger wouldn't have it. He opened the passenger door of his car. "Come on man. I'll drive you home."

Catiels gave up fighting and got in. He didn't know how cold he really was until the heat was blowing in his face.

"I'm Dean by the way."

"I'm C-Castiel."

Dean chuckled. "Castiel huh? That's a mouthful."

"M-my father was v-very religious."

"So where do you need to go Cas?"

Castiel tilted his head at the shortened version of his name, but said nothing about it. "At the next street, turn left and it's the last house." He noticed that he was shivering less and less until he stopped completely.

Dean pulled up in front of his house but he turned the car off and looked at Castiel. He couldn't help but notice again how green Dean's eyes were. It was like getting lost in a pine forest. He almost didn't notice Dean had begun talking to him.

"So, uh, I haven't seen you around before. Do you go to school around here?"

"Well, I just moved here. I go to the high school up the road."

A big smile lit up Dean's face. "I go there too! Maybe we could hang out some time."

"Um, yeah maybe."

Reluctantly, Castiel got out of the warm car and back into the rain. He didn't want to go inside. Not yet. He knew what would be waiting. His mom would yell at him for getting the house wet. If he was lucky, he'd be able to get to his room without getting a new bruise.

When he got to his front door, he turned around. He was surprised to meet Dean's eyes. He had a concerned look on his face that made Castiel's knees shake. Dean kept his eyes on Castiel as he started his car. Finally, he looked away to drive off.

Opening his door, Castiel was hit with the overpowering smell of alcohol. 'Oh no. She's drinking again.' He could see his mom in the kitchen, pouring herself another drink.

She looked up, seeing Castiel watching her. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to grace us with his presence."

He watched as she stumbled down the hallway, bumping into the wall every few feet.

"Where the hell have you been."

Castiel almost fell over as her breath hit him full on. He didn't have time to regain his footing before she slapped him.

She stood over Castiel with a look of pure hatred. "The next time you want to go out, don't come back at 10 o'clock and soaking wet."

He stayed on the ground until he was sure she wasn't coming back. He pushed himself off the ground and moved towards the stairs. When he looked up he saw Gabriel standing at the top.

"Oh Cassie. Why do you let her do that?"

"What am I supposed to do Gabriel? She is my mom. I can't hit her back. Besides that wouldn't make me any better than her."

He pulled Castiel up the last few stairs. "Come on. Let's get you some new clothes Cassie."

He pulled Castiel down the hallway to his room. After riffling through a few drawers, he pulled out a pair of pajamas and tossed them to Castiel. He looked away while Castiel quickly changed clothes. He pulled the covers back and curled into a ball.

Gabriel pulled the covers up to his chin. He started to walk towards the door, but he turned back halfway. He sighed and sat down next to Castiel.

"You know she loves you, right?"

"No Gabriel, she loves you. Ever since dad left, you have been her favorite. She likes Lucifer more than me, and he ran away." He was quiet for a few moments before he sighed. "Maybe- maybe she's right."

"What are you talking about Cassie?"

"Mom. Perhaps what she says about me is true."

"What does she say."

"That I'm a disgusting piece of filth. That I'm worthless. That- that I'm better off dead." He turned his head into the pillow so Gabriel wouldn't see him cry.

"Castiel. Don't." He was quiet. Like he was close to tears himself.

"Don't what Gabriel. I don't feel wanted. I don't feel anything. I feel worthless."

Gabriel laid down next to him. He pulled Castiel closer to him and put his chin on Castiel's head.

"I love you Cassie. Isn't that enough?"

"Yes. It is."

He could feel Castiel's breath even out. Then deepen. But he stayed by him until late in the night, making sure Castiel was comfortable and peaceful enough.

"I love you Castiel."


	2. Chapter 2

Dean couldn't get those eyes off his mind. They were so blue. He almost couldn't talk when they were fixed on him. At first glance, there was happiness. But if you looked long enough, there was hurt and pain. So much that it made Dean's chest ache. He wanted to know what had happened to this kid for him to hurt so much.

And that is how he found himself outside Cas' house again he waited in his car for five minutes, debating whether or not to knock on the door. But he never go the chance to. Castiel walked out his front door with his head down. On his back was a beat up and falling apart book bag.

He didn't look up to Dean until he almost ran into his car.

"What are you doing here?"

Dean was startled by the fear in his voice. "Well, I came by to pick you up for school."

Cas looked surprised, but his tone was gentler when he said, "You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah, I know. But I wanted to."

A small smile appeared on Cas' face as he opened the door and got in. in this new position, Dean noticed a red mark on Cas' face. "What happened to your face?"

Cas looked flustered before he answered. "I, uh, fell out of my bed this morning." He forced out a laugh. "It must have been harder than I thought."

Dean narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but he started his car anyway. The short ride to the school was filled with silence, but neither Cas nor Dean seemed to mind. When Dean pulled into the school, he saw Cas was nervously playing with his fingers.

"Are you ok, dude? Is there something wrong?"

"Why are you asking?"

"You seem a little nervous."

He started playing with the straps on his bag. "My peers and I never really get along."

Curiosity bubbled up inside Dean, but he pushed it down. "It'll be different this year. You have me."

Cas smiled but didn't get out of the car until Dean opened his door. Dean could tell he was still skeptical about school. He leaned in close to Cas so the students walking by wouldn't hear him. "Come on Cas. It'll be better. I promise." Cas looked at him, a terrified look on his face. Dean just looked at him for a few moments until Cas got out of the car. Cas clutched his bag tightly to his chest and followed closely behind Dean as they walked inside.

"Dude, personal space."

A blush crept up Cas' cheeks as he moved farther behind Dean, but not enough that he would lose him in the crowd.

Dean wanted to make sure Cas was still with him, but he didn't want to look over his shoulder constantly and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be beside him. So he trusted Cas to stay close- but not too close.

He tried to see what Cas' reaction was as they approached a group of Dean's friends, but he kept his eyes firmly on the ground.

"Hey Dean!"

"Hi Jo."

"So are you coming to my party tonight? My mom has been missing you lately."

"Uh, I don't know. Do you mind if I bring a friend along?"

"Who?"

Dean moved over to the side so she could get a good view of Cas. "His name is Cas and he just moved here." Cas lifted one of his hands in a halfhearted wave. Dean could tell he was uncomfortable, but was too polite to say anything.

"Yeah, sure. He can come."

"Thanks Jo. We should probably go now. I need to get Cas to the office to get his schedule and such."

"Ok. See you later Dean."

As Jo walked away, Cas visibly relaxed. Dean immediately rethought taking him to a party. Maybe he wouldn't even be let out of the house.

Dean mentally smacked himself. 'His parents, dumb ass. If he got hit just for coming home wet, what would they do if he asked out go out to a party with people he barely knows.'

"Look, Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't really think about if you wanted to go or not."

"I cannot go Dean. My mother would not approve."

"Yeah. Sorry. Come on, we do need to get you to the office though."

As he led Cas down the hall, he thought he heard him say, "I don't really need your help Dean." but he wasn't sure.

Dean opened the door to the cramped looking office. He waved Cas through first and urged him towards the woman at the front desk.

"Mr. Winchester, are you in trouble again?" She looked up at Cas. "Did you bring someone else down too?"

Dean could feel the heat rise to his face. "No. This is Cas. He's a new student."

"Cas?"

Cas took a hesitant step forward. "My name is Castiel Novak. My mother enrolled me two days ago." The secretary looked around in some folders before pulling out a stack of papers.

"This top paper is you schedule. And there is the code of conduct you need to sign. And the rest are just letters your parents should read."

"Thank you." Cas grabbed the papers with one hand and Dean's wrist with the other. He left the office and continued pulling Dean until they were on the other side of the school.

He let go of Dean and stood with his back to the wall. Dean noticed for the first time, how tired cas looked. He reached for the papers still in Cas' hands. "What classes do you have? Maybe we have some together." Their hands brushed against each other as Dean grabbed the stack. He saw Cas tense before forcing himself to relax again.

"So, we have first class together. And it looks like our last two are together also." Cas caught his eye and they looked at each other. Dean felt like he was falling deeper and deeper into an ocean, the longer he looked.

They both snapped out of it when the bell rang.

"Shit. We're late."

Cas took back his things and hurried after Dean. He stopped at a door and pushed it open.

"Mr. Winchester, you are late. Again."

"Sorry Mr. Balthazar, I was showing the new student where to go." He lightly pushed Cas ahead of him. He could see how scared Cas looked.

"What's your name?"

"Castiel."

Dean heard snickers. Cas' face started to turn red. Dean turned to see everyone and gave them all his best bitch-face.

"Well. Sit down. Both of you.'

Dean pushed Cas again towards the only two open seats in the very back corner.

"Now, back to the lesson."


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel heard people laugh at his name, but he didn't have the courage to say anything about it. That was normal. He used to being different.

"Well. Sit down. Both of you."

Castiel looked around the room, seeing the last two seats open. Dean pushed him forwards again and he quickly moved towards the desk. Dean sat in front of him. Castiel studied the way Dean was sitting. His feet were under the desk, but his right foot was inching towards the basket of the seat in front of him. He had a hand resting on his upper thigh of his left leg. He was slightly slouching, but his shoulders were straight- like he was proud of something. His other hand was stretched out on the desk, tapping every so often. Finally , Castiel got to Dean's head. He could look at that beautiful mop of dirty blonde hair all day. In some places it was darker. Little strands stuck up in certain places on top of his head. Whenever Dean moved his head, those small pieces of hair moved too. Castiel was still staring when Dean's eyes met his.

"Hello. Earth to Cas." He waved his hand in front of Castiel's eyes. "Come one, class is over."

Castiel quickly shoved his papers inside his bag. He looked up, expecting Dean to have left for his class, but he was waiting at the front of the row.

"Did you daydream the entire time?" Castiel blushed and looked away. Dean started laughing. "And here I am thinking you were someone who took notes on everything the teacher said." Dean stopped laughing, and reached across Castiel's chest to grab his schedule.

Castiel could feel his heart beat faster. He thought it was going to beat right out of his chest.

"So you have history with Black next. That's good, he's pretty nice." He looked at Castiel with a smile. "Plus it's not too far from my class."

Castiel felt heat rush to his face again, but Dean was still looking at the paper, so he- thankfully- didn't notice.

Dean walked with Castiel until the came to an open door. Students were slowly trickling in.

"Have a good class Cas. Pay attention." Dean smiled and lifted his hand to pat Castiel's back. He quickly withdrew it when he saw Castiel wince.

"Shit, Cas, I'm sorry. I just don't think sometime."

"Dean, it's fine. Just go to class." He nodded slowly and walked away.

Castiel looked back at the door and braced himself for what was coming. He walked over to the teacher's desk in the corner. It was covered in little knickknacks- probably given from students from past years. There was a photo on the corner, a pretty woman- most likely his wife- stood next to the teacher. There were two children as well, a young boy, eight or nine. And a baby girl held in the mother's arms.

"Yes?" Castiel's eyes immediately snapped back to the teachers face.

"I'm Castiel. I just moved here."  
He nodded. "Okay class," Everyone looked over at the desk. "this is our new student. Castiel." More giggles around the room "Make him feel welcome." He gave a look to all the students until all noises stopped. He gave a small nod to Castiel.

Castiel turned and moved to the seat closest to him, the farthest away from everyone else.

As soon as he sat down, a boy sauntered through the door. He was dressed nicely, in black dress pants and a plain white button up tucked into his pants. There was an air about him that said he wouldn't take 'no' as an answer for anything.

He walked right up to where Castiel was sitting. "You're in my seat."

Mr. Black sighed. "Micheal just sit somewhere else today." He gave Castiel another glare before he sat in front of him.

For the next sixty minutes, anytime a paper was passed back to Castiel, Micheal would would stare at him before letting it fall to the ground.

When the bell finally rang, Castiel nearly ran out the door.

There was a hand on his shoulder suddenly. "Hey. You walked right by me." Dean looked close into his eyes. "Are you okay? You seem a little..."

"I am fine Dean. Really."

He narrowed his eyes at Castiel, but Castiel stared right back at him. Eventually Dean gave up and shrugged. "Let's get to class then."

When Castiel and Dean walked out of their last class together, they were both laughing and smiling. 'That wasn't too bad, I guess. As long as Dean's there, I'll be fine.'

"Where are you going?" Dean grabbed onto Castiel's upper arm and pulled him back to Dean.

"I-I was going to catch the bus home."

Dean pulled a little harder; forcing Castiel to follow to him. "No. I'm driving you home."

"No, Dean you don't have to. I'm sure I am perfectly capable-"

"I'm driving you home and that's that." He continued pulling Castiel until he was following without Deann.

The ride back to his house was just as quiet as the ride to school. He let out a breath of relief as they pulled up to his house. He immediately flushed red when he realized what that must sound like to Dean. He peaked out of the corner of his eye to Dean, but he was looking down at his lap.

"Well, thank you for the ride Dean."

"Wait, Cas." Castiel looked back as Dean, who was watching him closely. "If you can come out tonight at all, I'll be here around seven. I'll wait fifteen minutes. If you don't come out, then I'll assume you can't make it."

Castiel felt himself smiling. "Thank you Dean. I will try my best."

"Be safe Cas."

Castiel walked up the stairs to his front door, planning on how he was going to sneak out tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was nervous, to say the least. He couldn't stop worrying about Cas. What if he got in trouble? Would he be okay? He shouldn't have pushed so hard to get Cas to go to some stupid party.

He looked at he clock on his dash. 7:20.

He sighed, and was about to leave when the passenger door opened and a black shape dropped inside. He froze, deciding whether to run or attack when the shape began to speak.

"I almost thought you had left. I'm sorry I'm late. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get out or not."

"Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

Dean felt himself relax a little more. "You scarred the crap outta me man. Why are you wearing all black?"

"Well I had to sneak out." Even in the dark, Dean could tell Cas was blushing. "How did you sneak out?"

"I climbed out of the window."

Dean couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Okay you little rebel, let's get going."

It only took fifteen minutes to get over to Jo's, even though it should have been more like thirty.

As they pulled onto the side of the road across the street, Dean tried to see how many people were inside. It was impossible. But at least Dean knew Jo wouldn't invite anyone who would be a jerk on the new kid.

Dean knocked on the door, fully expecting Cas to follow him. Jo's mom, Ellen, opened the door.

"Dean! It's been a while since I've seen you." She pulled him into a hug. She squeezed him tight for a moment before holding him out at arms length. She glanced over Dean's shoulder. "Is he with you?"

Dean turned around and saw Cas standing at the front of the sidewalk. He waved a hand, trying to tell Cas to walk over to the door. He slowly walked up the path to stand beside Dean. "Ellen this is Cas. He's new around here."

She stretched out he hand for Cas to shake."Jo's mom. Well come on already. Everyone's out back."

Dean walked through the kitchen to the back door. He saw Jo talking to some friends on the porch. He walked over and joined the group.

"Dean, you're here. Good. Can you please explain to Crowley that older cars are so much better than modern ones."

The boy beside Jo spoke,"No, Jo. Modern cars get much better gas mileage. Plus they're so much safer."

Dean automatically jumped in. "Maybe, but you can't beat the power they give." he saw Jo walk over to Cas out of his peripheral vision. He was so focused on what she was saying to Cas, he didn't know what he was saying to Crowley.

"Helllooo. Deaannn. Are you even listening?"

"Yeah, sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked about Sam. I haven't seen him around school."

"He went to a college camp. Nerd. He'll be back friday."

Crowley nodded and walked over to the food table. Dean was left standing awkwardly on the porch. He didn't want to intrude on Jo and Cas, but he didn't know who to talk to.

He heard Jo's laugh next to him. He turned around and saw Cas watching him intently.

"What did you tell him Jo?"

She laughed again. "Nothing too important." She jumped out of the way before Dean could reach her. "Play nice."

She left to talk to other people, leaving Cas and Dean alone.

"Do you want to talk to other people?" Dean hoped he would say no. He still didn't know much about this blue-eyed boy.

Cas shook his head."But don't let me stop you. I'm fine just...observing."

"No, I'm fine. I want to talk to you anyways." Dean swore he saw a look of panic flicker across Cas' face. "So, where are you from originally?"

"New York."

"And you left to come to Kansas? Why?"

"Um, I had some problems, with the other kids my age."

"Oh, poor Castiel. Why don't you tell him the real reason?"

Cas whipped his head around and came face to face with Micheal. Dean watched as fear filled Cas' face. "How do you know about that?"

Micheal had an evil glint in his eye. "It was quite easy. I simply searched your name on the internet. You'd be surprised at how detailed incident reports can be."

Cas' features shifted to a look of horror. Dean decided it was time to step in. "Okay Micheal. Time to leave."

"Oh but Dean. Don't you want to hear how Cas loves-" Cas shoved him back. He didn't go far, but it looked like Cas used all his strength.

Dean watched as Micheal face contorted with rage, and he was genuinely scarred for Cas. "Cas..." He turned his head slightly to look at Dean.

Micheal took that chance to swing a t Cas. He hit him square in the jaw. Dean ran to catch him before he hit the ground. He didn't pay much attention as a bunch of guys held Micheal back and forced him out of the house.

"Oh god Dean." Jo rushed over and tried to get a good look at Cas. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he looks okay. I'm sure his jaw will hurt like hell in the morning. I think we'll just head out now."

She gave a small nod. "Alright. Be careful."

Dean nodded and tugged on Cas' arm. "Come on Cas. We need to get you home."

He watched as Cas stood shakily to his. He made a slight movement with his head, almost like he was nodding to himself that he could walk-that he could move.

They made their way back to Dean's car, though Dean had to stop himself from reaching out for Cas whenever he swayed.

The silence that filled the ride back to Cas' house, was tense. Somewhere in the back of Dean's mind he hoped Cas' face wouldn't look any worse tomorrow.

"Dean I- Thank you."

Before Dean could question what he meant, Cas was out of the car and running towards the back of the house. Dean decided it was time for him to head home too. No doubt Micheal would be waiting for more taunts tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel hurried to the side of his house, worried that if he stayed with Dean any longer, he might start asking questions.

Castiel found his living room window still open, and- thankfully- his mom was still in bed. His feet landed with a soft thump on the carpet. He wanted to go straight to bed, but he had to do something about the ache in his jaw.

He walked through the living room to the kitchen, flinching every time the floor creaked. He grabbed a zip lock bag and filled it with ice he took a kitchen towel off the rack to wrap it in

Castiel was pushing open his bedroom door when he heard shuffling behind him.

"Why are you out of bed? And why are you dressed like that?"

Castiel froze. He didn't know if it would be better or worse to answer her. He turned, trying to keep the bag hidden behind him.

"I was thirsty."

"Don't lie to me." Castiel watched as realization dawned on his mom. "You snuck out, didn't you? How dare you treat me this way? After all I've done for you, you sneak around behind my back." She walked right up to Castiel and smacked him across the face. "You ungrateful, disrespectful, worthless piece of shit!"

She grabbed Castiel's arm and pulled him down the hall to the spare bathroom. She reached for the key on top of the frame to unlock it. Then she yanked Castiel forward and threw him down to the ground. He landed hard on his tailbone.

"You can stay here, until you learn to appreciate what I have done for you."

She slammed the door and Castiel heard her lock it again.

Castiel crawled over to a corner of the bathroom and pulled his knees to his chest. He rested his chin on his knees and wondered how long she'd keep him here this time.

He must have sat in the bathroom for four or five hours before he heard the door unlock again. He tensed up before he saw Gabriel's face peek through the crack.

"Cassie. What happened?"

"I went out to a party. With a-a friend."

Gabriel sat down next to him and pulled on his arm. Castiel let him pull his legs into a more comfortable position.

"So, you are making friends?"

Castiel sighed. "Not now Gabriel."

He nodded. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Actually, can you bring me the book off of my nightstand?"

"Of course. Yeah. What's it called?"

"The Discovery."

"Okay, I'll be right back. I promise."

Gabriel got up and quietly opened the door, leaving Castiel alone again.

He came back a few minutes later, holding a black book.

"If you need anything else, just knock on the wall three times." He rapped his knuckles on the wall as an example.

"Thank you Gabriel. Really."

Castiel waited until Gabriel had left and locked the door again before opening his book. He opened it to the middle and looked at the space he cut out of it. Inside a small square sat a screwdriver, a pencil sharpener, and a few razors. He always thought the title fit with what he hid inside. Someday, someone would discover it.

He pulled out the largest- and in a twisted way his favorite. He sat with his back against the door and rolled up his sleeve. His hand began shaking in anticipation. He closed his eyes and brought his hand down quick on his wrist. Castiel lifted his hand and did it again and again and again. He didn't stop until he felt the blood drip onto his leg. His eyes fluttered open to see what he did. His wrist was dripping blood down his hand and off his fingertips. Castiel knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he would regret this tomorrow, but right now, he was in a state of euphoria. His mind was in a daze with stupid sense of accomplishment. He wanted to keep going, keep slashing his wrist open until he bled out, but he couldn't stop imagining Dean's face when he was told. Would he be angry? Disgusted? What about what Gabriel would think? He'd defiantly blame himself and Castiel couldn't put that on his brother.

After a while, Castiel came back to himself. He looked over the mess he made again. He grabbed a little white box he had stashed under the sink yesterday.

He pulled out the washcloth and turned on the tap to get it wet. Carefully, he wiped the blood off his wrist and floor. He grabbed a few band-aids and placed them over his wrist until all the cuts were covered.

He placed the box and his book under the sink and crawled over to the corner. He wrapped himself tighter in his jacket and laid down on the floor.

'I wonder if she'll let me out for school? Probably not. She's left me locked up for longer than a day.'

Just before he fell asleep, he wondered how long Dean would wait outside for him before he gave up.

Castiel woke to footsteps outside the door. He sat up as his mom opened the door.

"Have you learned how to respect me yet?"

Castiel nodded.

"I don't think you have. I think a few more hours in here will do you some good. You can come out when I get home from work." She closed the door again.

Castiel heard the front door open and close. He leaned back against the wall and tried to get as comfortable as he could.

He dozed off a few times, but he was wide awake when he heard the lock turn again.

"Stand up." Castiel quickly stumbled to his feet. "Come here." He stood about half a foot away from her. She reached out and hit him hard in the face. "If you ever sneak out of this house again, you will stay in that room for weeks."

She turned around and walked downstairs. Castiel knew better than to follow her. Instead, he walked to his bedroom and shut the door. He knew he would have to wait until his mom went to bed before attempting to get his book back.

He sat in the middle of his bed for some time before his eyes started to close of their own accord. He figured his stuff would still be there tomorrow.


End file.
